Homing

by Vera Constantineau

I had a kaleidoscope meltdown in the sixties

The direct result of too much

and not enough

The decision to retreat from the edge

was made in a moment of unknowing

what was necessary

Before rehab we had the swift kick in the ass

the pre-buzzwords

‘pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps-my-girl’

I did

on a long bus ride to the previously stifling

comfort of family and the familiarity of place

Facing grimy half lowered windows

inhaling the smell of wood smoke

seeing grass and budding leaves

Knowing the road

doesn’t mean

no surprises

We’ve all gone round the bend

to glimpse the future

some ride on, some get off

The choice is personal

decision revocable

future undetermined

The kaleidoscope will still turn

that bus will still run

and people will still melt down